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“I stopped trying… You should too.” – Personal Blog
“Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us; And confirm for us the work of our hands; Yes, confirm the work of our hands” -Psalm 90:17
Throughout my life, I’ve often wondered whether my efforts are in vein, or wasted on my own self-interest. For the most part, I have tried to do the right thing and tried to watch my step as to be sure I don’t go somewhere I shouldn’t or do something I know is bad.
We all have times in our lives where we slip and fall. We make mistakes. We say things we don’t mean. We hurt people we promised we never would. I know I have; and those events in my life, seem to haunt me to this day. Mistakes I’ve made and words I have spoken seem to make their way back into my mind’s eye at every opportunity.
Until recently, I tried so hard to focus on ‘doing the right thing’, on ‘being righteous’. I don’t do that anymore. Whoa… Wha? What did he just say? He doesn’t try to please God any longer?
Of course my ultimate goal in life is to please my creator and live the life that makes him smile down on me. I’m sure that’s everyone’s goal… Those that have come to know Him anyway.
What I have done, though, is stop trying to watch my step and stop trying to make the right moves.
In the middle of a church service this week, my pastor said something that I would usually consider cliché. He said, “let go and let God.” But for some reason, that time those words hit me like brick in the face! “Wow, Pastor totally just rocked my soul… and verbally abused me with that brick, but that’s another blog…” I thought to myself, why am I wasting so much time trying so hard and pre-planing every move and word? How is this efficient?
I had been working so hard to make things right, to make a difference… To make Him proud of me. I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt, but a good guilt. I realized I had been focusing all my efforts on MYSELF this whole time when I thought it was all for Him.
How in the world do I expect God to be able to totally move in the world around me and really make a difference through me if I’m constantly pre-planning and negotiating everything before it happens? It can’t be done.
I recalled a verse in Isaiah that says God grants us peace and everything we accomplished in life is really because of Him. That’s my rough translation, but you get the point.
Its a good thing to desire our Creator’s approval. To want to please our Father is awesome! But to strive for approval so much that you are no longer serving, but rather deflecting and defensive is only causing me to stalemate.
I tend to worry about everything. I worry that I’m making the right decisions with my wife, in our home, with our money. I worry that I’m making the right decisions at work, with the station, the music, the volunteers, the listeners and their money. I worry a lot.
This week I realized by having those worries in my mind and heart so often is only taking my mind’s eye off the true goal… Reaching the masses through music. Worry in itself is probably a part of being human. Maybe it’s a part of our natural self-defense. I’m not sure. I’d have to ask pastor. All I know is that allowing it to fester in my mind and heart so often is causing results to manifest in my life that I don’t like at all!
So with that in mind, I open up the Bible to Psalm 91. It’s one of my favorites to turn to when life and circumstance are a little abrasive. Only this time my eye automatically landed on the last verse of the previous chapter that says this:
“Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us; And confirm for us the work of our hands; Yes, confirm the work of our hands”
Here are the first thoughts that entered my mind after reading that sentence, “I love how God’s word can just open itself up in a way it never has before, even after reading those passages over and over again. I really want another Carmel Macchiato, I’m totally chugging one after this… I’ve read Psalm 91 a thousand times! But never did I stop and read the one little verse just before it… Way cool… God rocks.”
And it’s true. God does rock and I do love coffee. See, you just learned way more than you signed up for! 
At the very moment I read that verse, I felt that overwhelming sense of burden come off of me so fast it was ridiculous, but good ridiculous. Immediately, I prayed and asked for forgiveness of focusing on pleasing and trying so hard, rather than on being effective to the best of my abilities.
So, from this day forward, my goal is to stop and realize that God is in control. If my heart is right, my efforts are noble and my mind is clear of infiltration… I can not only be powerfully effective, but I can also receive the favor of God in my life without even trying! He will make my efforts successful.
God alone has the power to make me. I have the power to prevent Him if I don’t let Him.
This week friends, choose to focus directly on Him with everything you do! He will guide you, he will be your defense, your offense and your best friend. God alone will confirm who you are. You don’t need to prove it or work for it… Be in Him and He will SHINE!
Love ya friends,
-Jeremiah St. James
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For those of you new to my ramblings, I am not a preacher or a minister. There are a million people who know theology way better than me. I’m just a radio Deejay sharing my thoughts on life, God and the pursuit thereof. If you agree or disagree with me, I’d love to hear your feedback or thoughts below this post! If you’d like to receive these notes and other contest, events, concerts or radio related updates, please sign up for FireStarter Updates by clicking here. You’ll get these in your e-mail automatically. We never share or give out personal info. We can’t stand spam either!
